Peeru Fanfic Comments

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Death 999
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Re: Peeru Fanfic Comments

Post by Death 999 » Wed Sep 01, 2010 9:11 pm

I am acutely unsatisfied with my current chapter 28, so I'm not releasing it yet. Apologies to anyone who hoped that I might stick to schedule.

ETA: done, only 2 days late. Not perfect - I may return to it - but good enough to move past.

I'm unbelieveably busy this month, so next installment will be either Oct 1 or Oct 15.

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Lukipela
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Re: Peeru Fanfic Comments

Post by Lukipela » Sat Sep 04, 2010 7:58 am

Man, I need to get back on this wagon, I've just been too busy. I'm several parts behind, but i'm going to catch up! just you watch.

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Re: Peeru Fanfic Comments

Post by Lukipela » Mon Sep 13, 2010 8:01 pm

Right. I begin with chapter 27 and I'm immediately struck by something. How are the Mycon going to function as crew? Don't they need really hot conditions? How did the Syreen capture them for that matter?

Also, what is wrong with that Nuun character? Forcefully knocking a patient out, mixing up schedules, shouldn't there be some sort of consequences? Maybe the Syreen knows what's wrong with her, but shouldn't something like that be handled at some official level? I'm getting some weird vibe from the last chapter about it almost being rape or some such. Coupled with the egg and however that is used I'm getting slightly unsettled here.

I like that you're writing weights in kilo's, makes it easier for me :)

Not much to comment on really, well written as always.

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Death 999
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Re: Peeru Fanfic Comments

Post by Death 999 » Tue Sep 14, 2010 4:19 pm

Lukipela wrote:Right. I begin with chapter 27 and I'm immediately struck by something. How are the Mycon going to function as crew? Don't they need really hot conditions? How did the Syreen capture them for that matter?
1) Mycon can function fine on penetrators, so their temperature requirements can't be too strict. And Maulers are much toastier than penetrators (45 C instead of 28 C)
2) They anticipate capturing them in the ambush at Organon
Lukipela wrote:Also, what is wrong with that Nuun character? Forcefully knocking a patient out, mixing up schedules, shouldn't there be some sort of consequences? Maybe the Syreen knows what's wrong with her, but shouldn't something like that be handled at some official level? I'm getting some weird vibe from the last chapter about it almost being rape or some such. Coupled with the egg and however that is used I'm getting slightly unsettled here.
I do regret leaving this unclear over any period of time, especially with the delay to the next chapter. So I will clear it up now.

It is formally like rape, but totally unlike rape in the degree of impact on the victim.

First off, rape in humans can cause unwanted pregnancy, and cause changes in the body which last a long time. Druuge can trivially terminate pregnancy, so this aspect simply isn't there.
Second, Human reproduction is between two people. Forcing yourself into that is a violation of the first order. Druuge egg-carrying is usually predominantly done by the mother, with some help from the father, and a few dozen others - family, friends, and professionals akin to nannies.
Third, sex in humans is normally done on the basis of love and affection; forcing yourself into that is again a violation of the first order. Among Druuge, there are certain physical acts which are that way, but due to the same points as above, they are not reproductive in nature; and though some involve some of the same equipment, it is not an exclusive use zone.
Fourth, it isn't abnormally penetrative to nearly the same extent. The openings don't normally seal tightly. Some whose clothing permits even use their pouches for storage of personal effects.

As for the lack of official sanction... Peeru had her reasons for not pursuing them. I didn't include them in the chapter because they were thought through subconsciously. You'll see.

As for the answer to your first question, that may not come up next chapter. If I come to the last good opportunity for it to come up and it hasn't, I can give the WoG on it then.

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Death 999
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Re: Peeru Fanfic Comments

Post by Death 999 » Sat Oct 02, 2010 3:46 am

If you read the above post, not much of chapter 29 will be surprising. I did make it in on schedule (barely), though.

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Re: Peeru Fanfic Comments

Post by Zeracles » Mon Oct 25, 2010 6:16 am

So, it would be rude to even ask to see your... what do you call it?"

"Yes, it would."

"Oh." That's odd, considering the massive area of the ship's computer devoted to essentially that.
Haha
Death 999 wrote:I may be low on time for the next month while I work on, oh, my dissertation. So. I'll have a chapter for Aug 1 but take off Aug 15, then I should be back on.
Monthly works for me, Dr Death!
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Re: Peeru Fanfic Comments

Post by Lukipela » Wed Oct 27, 2010 7:18 pm

I'm still a bit confused about Nuun and what makes her tick, but I sort of see why there were no repercussions I guess.

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Death 999
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Re: Peeru Fanfic Comments

Post by Death 999 » Tue Nov 02, 2010 3:19 am

Having recently first read the Roleplaying Resource Guide (hint book), I only just found out that Druuge stink.

After very careful consideration, I have decided that incorporating this after the fact would require such extensive and intrusive revisions that I am better off just not including it, or declaring that the odor is minor enough not to become an issue under most circumstances.

In the event that I do a major overhaul and rewrite (once I've written the end I may edit it down to permit reaching the story's climax in a more reasonable amount of time), I could work it in.

Speaking of which, we're in the process of stepping up the pace of the flow of time. At the rate of progress observed through 2010, the Sa-Matra would be destroyed some time in 2060. How about no.

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Re: Peeru Fanfic Comments

Post by Lukipela » Sat Nov 13, 2010 7:42 pm

I think ignoring the stink makes sense. Maybe it's only on their own ships where they don't values hygiene as much.

Also, the new Syreen recruit gives off a very goth vibe, and the Syreen starbase sounds like an interesting place.

Does stepping up the pace mean updating more often, longer updates or a shorter story?

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Death 999
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Re: Peeru Fanfic Comments

Post by Death 999 » Sat Nov 13, 2010 10:47 pm

The RPRG specified that it's their breath that stinks. Also, some of the details about Druuge culture don't seem to gel for me, and as I've been going in a different direction, I won't incorporate it. In particular, the idea that they were solitary hunter/gatherers. I do not think that they would organize into corporations. I substituted the idea that though they formed groups, the dwellings were holes in trees - limited in size, far apart, and not readily expanded or manufactured. Competition to be one of those allowed in at wintertime was fierce.

The faster pace means in-story time covered per update. After 30 chapters, we've covered 81 days. If the story were to continue at that pace for the estimated 2 story-years remaining, I would have an additional 300 chapters or so to write.

That would be too long.

~~~~
Also, I'm still curious how many of my syreen names people are able to catch the references for. They're all female science fiction characters, usually leads, and all but one are strong characters (a second one is arguably not a strong character; but only when she spends the bulk of the book trapped in a male body!). For reference, here they are:

Rydra Trixia Kay Deana Leeta Sharae Chou Cass Wytea Wyoh Seranis Mersdin Leah Lain Keili Ceeta

~~~~
I made a few tweaks to chapter 30: clarified the scene in the umbilical and made her shock at Ceeta / Mersdin flow a bit better.

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