Peeru Fanfic Comments

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Death 999
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Re: Peeru Fanfic Comments

Post by Death 999 » Sat May 01, 2010 2:50 pm

Updated. I'll also be inserting the minor fixes to things earlier at this time, and noting the changes in this post (I'll edit them in).

(edit: I never actually got around to doing that - had to go)
Last edited by Death 999 on Thu May 06, 2010 8:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Lukipela
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Re: Peeru Fanfic Comments

Post by Lukipela » Thu May 06, 2010 6:09 pm

The economy parts bore me slightly since I'm an engineer, but the intrigue... intrigues me. It'll be interesting to see what the Syreen are up to. Hopefully they're not just being stereotypical women.

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Re: Peeru Fanfic Comments

Post by Draxas » Thu May 06, 2010 6:16 pm

I'd say they're acting just as they were described in the SC1 manual. I always had a feeling that Talana was fairly atypical as far as the Syreen go in terms of relating to other species.

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Death 999
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Re: Peeru Fanfic Comments

Post by Death 999 » Thu May 06, 2010 8:02 pm

Lukipela wrote:The economy parts bore me slightly since I'm an engineer
Don't worry, it's over, never to return. Though I don't see what being an engineer has to do with it.
Lukipela wrote:, but the intrigue... intrigues me. It'll be interesting to see what the Syreen are up to. Hopefully they're not just being stereotypical women.
Rydra isn't just acting on instinct, but it's not exactly Byzantine in nature. Don't expect too much.

Draxas is right -- the others are basically just being themselves. They are not, however, uniform in nature. Compare Leeta (the biggest complainer among the repairers, relatively un-self-consciously brassy) to Deana (unwanted touching, but eventually got the message), Sharae (who volunteered to help others), Rydra (the leader, with the 'intrigues'), Trixia (who did most of the cordial talking with Peeru on the way to the strategy meeting), or Wytea (the anonymous injured Syreen seen at the end of the recent Chapter 22).

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Lukipela
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Re: Peeru Fanfic Comments

Post by Lukipela » Sat May 22, 2010 6:01 am

Death 999 wrote:Don't worry, it's over, never to return. Though I don't see what being an engineer has to do with it.
Not saying it was terrible mind you, it's just that I don't find all this supply and demand stuff very interesting. Most technical engineers I've met seem to share my attitude, probably because most economy stuff we see is severly retarded, with different budgets and departements either warring over payment or duplicating efforts.
Death 999 wrote: Rydra isn't just acting on instinct, but it's not exactly Byzantine in nature. Don't expect too much.

Draxas is right -- the others are basically just being themselves. They are not, however, uniform in nature. Compare Leeta (the biggest complainer among the repairers, relatively un-self-consciously brassy) to Deana (unwanted touching, but eventually got the message), Sharae (who volunteered to help others), Rydra (the leader, with the 'intrigues'), Trixia (who did most of the cordial talking with Peeru on the way to the strategy meeting), or Wytea (the anonymous injured Syreen seen at the end of the recent Chapter 22).
This ties in to the amount of characters present. It feels that we see most for such a short while that it's hard to keep track of them. For instance, in this chapter you reference the people in the group known from before, but I had to go back and look them up because the name tells me very little. Part of it is that the names are so alien of course, and that I read the chapters infrequently. I really should reread the whole thing in one sitting to see if that issue disappears.

Anyway, this chapter was interesting. Odd that Zelnick would put Peeru in charge of so much training even though he knows she is completely clueless to this stuff. Looking forward to big showdown with the Mycon.

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Death 999
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Re: Peeru Fanfic Comments

Post by Death 999 » Sun May 23, 2010 5:29 pm

She is substantially less clueless now than she was two months ago. Remember, she's been in nightly exercises, as a regular participant, ever since they left Sol (with exceptions for the raid into Ur-Quan territory). Just, she wasn't in charge of a side until now, when they are doing real-fleet exercises instead of split-fleet.

I believe this was mentioned, though only once and briefly.

Okay, I'm going to append a little tiny bit to make it clearer.

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Death 999
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Re: Peeru Fanfic Comments

Post by Death 999 » Thu Jul 01, 2010 5:10 pm

About chapter 26: furnace. I'm curious whether anyone saw this coming. Show of hands?


Also, I have put in the changes mentioned above. I'd like in particular to know if the change to chapter 1 helped.
Chapter 1: clarified 'chain-lengthening' without adding an intrusive wall of text.

Chapter 2: fixed a physical relationship so it made sense

Chapter 14: had said 'marauder' when I meant 'mauler'

Chapter 15: clarified where Trixia touched Peeru; tiny wording change about the airlock.

Chapter 16: fixed a tag and eliminated a repetition of the 'did not waste time' turn of phrase.

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Lukipela
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Re: Peeru Fanfic Comments

Post by Lukipela » Thu Jul 01, 2010 7:43 pm

Can't say yet, I've got this set up to read on Saturday.

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Re: Peeru Fanfic Comments

Post by Draxas » Thu Jul 01, 2010 9:58 pm

I was wondering if you would ever bring the Mauler back, since it was originally just mothballed. Of course, the questions remains; will Peeru actually get better at flying it, or end up with a quick and brutal death in combat?

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Lukipela
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Re: Peeru Fanfic Comments

Post by Lukipela » Thu Jul 08, 2010 2:18 pm

I'm confused by the nature of the prank, is it supposed to remain mysterious or do I just suck at comprehensive reading?

Also the Mauler thing was pretty inspired. Just the kind of weird scifi speak that was needed to bring it back really.

and how does that bond thing work, everyone sexes up everyone else, or peopel just donate cells and whoever survives has to take care of all of them? I can see the Druuge in the Alliance starting a whole new race if they get a moon.

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