Jerry Hinn Makes a Web Page

Film at Eleven

Who The Heck Am I?

I was born at a very early age in Mount Vernon, Virginia. One score and two years later, I dropped anchor in Raleigh, North Carolina, where I'm currently watching grasshoppers have sex (attention Net Nanny programs: I just used "sex" in a sentance! Oop, I did it again!). Not only does this pass the time immeasurably, but it's the focus of my graduate work here at North Carolina State University. Up until recently, I spent four, enjoyable years in sunny Blacksburg, Virginia, home of Virginia Polytechnical Institute and State University, where I studied biology generally.

What Am I Really Doing Here?

Not

Jokes aside (hard for me to do), what I *really* do at NC State is work with Dr. Marianne Niedzlek-Feaver in her studies of grasshopper reproductive behavior. To make a fascinating but long story short, up until recently, evolutionary biologists considered males to be the movers and shakers of evolution, with the females being little more than brood chambers for their homunculi. It turns out, however, that females of many species have a lot of say so in which male gets access to their eggs, and grasshoppers seem to number among these. Specifically, female grasshoppers appear to be choosing males on the basis of the size of their spermatophore, or "protein gift." They can't determine this without initiating mating, however, so they need more visible clues.
Locusts. You know I hate 'em.

Enter the old cliché: "Size doesn't count." Sadly to would-be orthopteran studs, it does. Females use the weight of male consorts as an indicator of how big a gift they can donate to the "make more nymphs" fund, and only assent to copulations with larger males. It is my opinion that this establishes a selection pressure on male grasshoppers, who, in the interest of passing on their genes, need to get bigger. This may increase the danger of predation (who wants to eat a little grasshopper when there's a nice, juicy fat one on the leaf next-door?) and therefore be good indicator of good genetics (because any nice, juicy fat grasshopper who survived long enough to breed must have something going for it). That, and protein from the spermatophore can be directly used for making more eggs, which means more big grasshoppers next summer. Good news for females, bad news for farmers.

Stuff About Me

I'm a proud member of the Beta Omega Chapter of the Theta Xi Fraternity, which stands out not only in it's uniqueness but in what it has to offer young men of college age. Although I can't speak for all the chapters, mine in particular is worth checking out, quite notably should you be attending Virginia Tech for classes.

I enjoy rollerblading, hiking, and nature in general (which have no web sites, so get off of your butt and find some yourself), as well as more leisurely activities such as computer games, Magic: The Addiction, and making fun of crappy movies. However, I imagine you'd be more interested in WWW type stuff, so I direct you to the links at the end of this page.

More Boring Stuff About Me

For those of you interested, psychotically obsessed, or suicidally bored, I offer the following links. While not exactly "good TV," they're important enough to waste bandwidth. And if companies like 7-up© and Tampax© can have web pages, I can put my resumé up here...

My resumé
My nefarious plan to RULE THE WORLD

Links to Neat Things I've Done

These are all pages I've made, so bear with me. Still, if you're interested in exactly the same things I am, I'm sure you'll like them. However, I gather this is not the case for most people in the world, so proceed at your discretion.

Game-Related Pages
The Unofficial Star Control© Page: An exhaustive tome about this great saga.
Warcraft 2© Level Page: My Warcraft pud's, for you to enjoy.
Day of the Tentacle File Page: Choice sound files and pictures shamelessly swiped from Maniac Mansion 2.

TV Related
MST3K Trading Post: I'm trying to fill my collection with all the choicest movies. Please help me!

Links to Other Spiffy Sites

If you like what you've seen so far, maybe you'll like these. Maybe not. But it'll broaden your horizons. Or at least make you glad you're not me.

The Origin of Species: Charles Darwin's 1859 masterpiece, as he originally wrote it in HTML. Also, it's a great unbiased site for information on both sides of the evolution/creation debate.
Games
R.O.M.: One of the best starting points for platform system emulation, meaning that you can play old Atari, Nintendo, and other such platform games on a machine hundreds of times the cost of the original machine. But it's still fun.
The Unofficial Squaresoft Home Page: Squaresoft makes the best Nintendo games; even Nintendo of America must admit that (and, given their choice of 'Square to make their most recent Super NES Mario installment, I believe they have). Come see, hear, and gawk in amazement at what they've done recently.
IGN64: When games for your Nintendo 64 cost upwards of $60, you want to make sure you don't buy any stinkers. This *independant* site offers critical and unbiased reviews, so you know which games will voraciously devour your time, not your paycheck.
TV Shows
Duckman: Duckman, USA Network's hilariously off-the-wall cartoon. Most of the better episodes feature two cute, stuffed bears getting maimed horribly. Sometimes twice!
Mystery Science Theater 3000: Mystery Science Theater 3000, formerly the only good show on Comedy Central, can be viewed on the Sci Fi channel on Saturdays at 5 and 11 EST. Keep circulating the tapes!
The Simpsons: Who hasn't heard of the Simpsons? Homer, Marge, O.J., Bart, Lisa, and Maggie. One, big, yellow cartoon family. Somewhat dysfunctional. Dan Quayle would not approve.
The South Park Sound archive: Don't let the appearance fool you; they look like Peanuts characters, but they don't talk like them. This rowdy Comedy Central show is like no cartoon ever before.
Comics
Scud, the Disposable Assassin: Delightfully sadistic, this Fireman Press beauty is hard to find in comic stores, but well worth the expense and bother of ordering. Better start with #1, though, or you'll have a tough time settling into the disturbingly hilarious saga.
Sam and Max: Much less dark than the others, Sam and Max are a pair of animal detectives (Sam's a dog, Max is some sort of rabbitty thing) intent on fighting crime, shooting up criminals, and laying waste to anything in their path. It's also spawned a pretty good LucasArt's game.
The House of Fun: The homepage of Slave Labor Graphics, the company that brings you Milk and Cheese and Johnny, the Homicidal Maniac. Family fun for everyone. Or not.
Bone: While getting a bit late in the series to start now and hope to understand it, look for the first two volumes of compiled Bone. Well crafted jokes come to fruition in later episodes with masterful skill.

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