Adventures beyond known space OOC

[Lukipela]

Welcome to Adventures beyond known space! This is a Choose Your Own Adventure game, where YOU can be part of an exciting adventure with a minimum of effort. So how does this work? Well, I'm going to post a story. I've loosely planned out a fictional Star Control world where this takes place. But I haven't actually decided what's going to happen. This is where you come in. Read the latest story post, and consider what you think we need to do. then post it! It's really that simple. I'll read through the different suggestions and count them as votes. Then I'll do my best to follow the majority's wishes and we'll see how our character and the world around him react.

Sound easy? It really is! Well, there's just one teensy weensy rule that you need to adhere to, but it's really not that bad.

1. When you post in the story thread, it really really has to be on topic. That measn that in your post you need to include one of the following things.

• A suggestion on what to do next
• A question on something our charcater knows/remembers/has experienced
• A comment upon someone else's on topic posting

If your unsure if your post adheres to this, then don't worry! Just post it. It might be something I hadn't thought about that fits perfectly. And if it isn't I'll move it to the OOC. Now I realise that this sort of fascism is unheard of on the SCDB and you're all probably wondering why I'm demanding that you adhere to this tiny insignificant speck of a rule. Well, the reason is really twofold. For one, I don't want the discussion to spiral all too much off topic. If it does, it becomes really cumbersome for me to find out who wants to do what, since I'll have a lot of empty posts to trawl through. It also means that any newcomer suddenly can't just follow the story, but has to read through  loads of completely random posts that has no bearing on the adventure. The second reason is simply that I don't like competition. Some of you might be better writers than me and your off topic posts might outshine my story. And we can't have that. So while I really regret having to do so, off topic posts will either be moved to the OOC thread, or simply... vanish!

Finally, a few choice words on posting styles. As you read through the thread you'll notice that people are posting in very different styles. Some are just making normal posts. others are role-playing voices inside our collective head, while others are pretending to be the person we collectively are playing. All of these are fine. If RP'ing makes this thread more enjoyable for you, then go hog wild! Feel free to colour your posts as much as you wish in any fashion you care too, as long as you adhere to the rule I mentioned above. A huge role-playing post without any on topic content suffers he same fate as a small non role-playing post that is off topic. But keep in mind that everyone might not be as into role-playing as you are, and you can't expect them to answer in a similar fashion (or at all).

Anyhow, I do hope this isn't too taxing and I wish you heartily welcome to join us in a wonderous adventure!

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This was the old starting post back when this was a gimmick. Read if you enjoy abuse only!

Ok, listen up. We're going to play a little game. Not one of the usual games where everyone pretends to be their favourite alien race in a wonderful fairytale universe. Not one of those where you're playing a cool super race that is really running things and all those other stupid players can't stick to that fantastic story arc you've already planned out. Not even one of those where you decrepit seniors lose interest after a week and leave everyone else hanging because you can't be bothered to invest the five minutes a day needed to post "My race is really cool and this week they scratch their asses".

Instead, we're going to try something new. Shocking isn't it? I'm going to tell you a story, but like yet another Shyamalan movie it comes with an extremely predictable twist. I'm the story teller, but you get to decide what happens. Well, that's not quite true. I wouldn't trust you to do that since you'd probably just screw up. Instead, you get to decide what the main character does. You're a bunch of horrible little voices inside our heroes head, and those of you who shout the loudest will come out on top. In practice this means that I tally the three fist votes as full votes and any further votes as half votes. The action/idea/mad rambling a majority votes for happens. As you probably won't agree on a damned thing I'll be a tiebreaker and try to execute whatever suggestion is even vaguely reasonable while you holler like the furious gibbons you are. Also just so we're clear, I will wait for three votes before doing anything. If three votes don't appear, our currently nameless hero has been left where he is all because of you. I hope you're proud.

This thread is in case you didn't understand a word I wrote. Rather than messing up the actual story with stupid questions about game mechanics, you can come post them here and I'll heap abuse on you and possibly answer. You can also ask about why were doing this and any other stupid game related questions you can think of.

Anyway, mosey over to the other thread where there is an actual adventure taking place or go back to sleep. I've got a 50€ riding on you all being to sleepy to do anything so I don't care either way.

[n00b]

I've registered specifically for this thread, hopefully no problems.

[Lukipela]

Welcome to noob, who has managed to not just understand thread number 1, but hasn't understood thread number 2 either. Wrong post in wrong thread and whatnot. Thank you for playing, your comments have been taken aboard and will be thrown overboard as soon as we leave the harbour.

[Rider]

Well this is certainly new... let's see how long this will run

[Lukipela]

This will run a lot longer if you floozies manage to aquire some reading skills. Out of three replies in the adventure thread, one is on topic but worthless, one appears to be trying to take over the narrative which is unacceptable, and one is slightly on topic but would be better suited for the OOC thread since the player isn't actually sure of what he can/can't do. Still, 0.5/3 isn't a bad result for this dusty old place and I'm confident that with the proper motivation, cajoling and unwarrantedly arrogant behaviour I can whip you into marginally better shape.

SO ITS EXPLAINING TIME GUYS! THIS IS WHAT YOU DO IN THE ADVENTURE THREAD!

1. Post what you want to do. Example: Go to the door, jump up and down, lick your fingers, whatever. n00b seems to have gotten this far, even though his contribution isn't exactly what I'd consider even grade Z material. THESE KIND OF ACTIONS WILL ONLY HAPPEN AFTER A MINIMUM OF THREE VOTES, MAKE SURE YOUR VOTE COUNTS!
2. Ask questions that our nameless heros mind can answer for you. Cedric is on the right track here, but obviously all that water spinning counter clockwise (or whatever) has him distracted. Acceptable questions concern things you can remember, what you know about something, stuff like that. Also, if you want a better description of something our eyes can focus on that if it's close by. THESE KIND OF QUESTIONS DO NOT REQUIRE THREE VOTES, SINCE THEY TAKE PLACE MOSTLY INSIDE YOUR HEAD. So if you wan't to ask about your childhood or prom or whatever, just do so. I'll let you know what our hero remembers on that subject. Do try to be slightly on topic. If we're being fired at by hostiles then it might not be the best time to think about stupid shit like the square root of pi.

AND THIS IS WHAT YOU DONT DO IN THE ADVENTURE THREAD

1. Ask stupid questions. Maybe you can talk, maybe you can't. The only way to find out is to attempt doing so. Asking "Can I talk" is very Zen and could probably make for an interesting metaphysical argument, but since you're all inside our heros head it's much easier to just open your mouth. If you are unsure of how the game works, read the first post here. Once you get to the part that says " Rather than messing up the actual story with stupid questions about game mechanics, you can come post them here and I'll heap abuse on you and possibly answer." then hopefully a little light will come on and you'll realize that this is *question/abuse time*, whereas the other thread is *story time*
2. Pretend to be thinking. You are small and fairly horrible voices inside a head. You aren't the actual hero, so don't try thinking for him. I'll do that once you have made your crooked demands known. Pretending to think ""What happened last night" is akin to the schizophrenic splinter personality of a very confused person pretending to run the show. Such voices are not listened to, as they would lead to madness. Blind horrible madness. Why would you wish that on our hero? Oh yeah, you're warped little voice inside a head. Irregardless, that doesn't fly.

SO HERE IS HOW WERE GOING TO CONTINUE

I asked for three votes, which amazingly enough you've provided. I guess my 50€ hangs in the balance you selfish jerks. Anyway, since there was no agreement between the three posters, I'm going to go with the one I find most logcial, i.e Cedric.

EDIT: Noob apaprently withdrew his vote to undress and masturbate. I'm still counting it though, and thus you get an update. But next time there had better be three votes there or this thread is going to rot along with every other thread on this godforsaken subforum.

[Eth]

Goodness!  You're grumpy now, Luki! 

Glad you're back, though.   

[Lukipela]

Goodness!  You're grumpy now, Luki! 

*cough cough cough*

Did it just get really dusty in here? No, it's Eth! The old man whose defining quality is being old! Old and dusty. Man, you fit in really well here. I'm slightly (but not very) surprised that your reading skills are on par with the rest of the posters here. I am not grumpy. This is an abuse/questions thread. If you post here I will abuse you and then answer your questions if they aren't blindingly stupid. Since you apparently have no questions you get no answers, only abuse.

[Eth]

  Where've you been?  (Oh, that's right, the UQMF, home of Jaychant.)  I'm no longer the oldest poster here. 

[Lukipela]

It would appear that Eth's old man memory and severly decreased cognitive functions are once again making him look like an old old man. Not only can he not differentiate between old and oldest, he also seems to have missed this text:

"Rather than messing up the actual story with stupid questions about game mechanics, you can come post them here and I'll heap abuse on you and possibly answer. You can also ask about why were doing this and any other stupid game related questions you can think of."

I helpfully bolded the important part for the beenfit of your old failing eyes. If you want to fawn over me feel free to do so somewhere else, possibly underwater. Unless you have an actual game question about the game we're suposed to be playing here in the games OOC thread I'm just going to ignore your ramblings the same way I do with all the other old people I regularly avoid encountering.

[Rider]

I'm sorry I stepped on your toes there, I wasn't exactly sure what minutely precise format you had in mind when you made this little game

So we can say stuff we want the Hero to do... but not what the Hero should think about? Using quotes is bad. And being old seems to get you shot as well. Gotcha!

[Lukipela]

I wonder if I used to imagine that this place was a home of intelligence or satire, or if you've all grown unbearably daft while I was on vacation. "Stepping on toes", "being grumpy" and so forth. Have you slime-sucking maggots gotten so sleepy and weepy that you've lost whatever meager wit you once had? See that icon by the thread? The angry face? Note that it looks angry. AN-GRY. Read that first post. Yes, read, don't just hit reply like some goddamn Pavlovian dog waiting for a treat. There are no treats here. Just the cold spray of icy water reserved for bad doggies. Note the whole heaping abuse part. Yes, jot it down with a pen if you need to. Then finally, and this is the really tricky part that I bet most of you are stumbling on because it's so simple, finally ponder that I am writing in a totally uncharacteristic style with loads of unnecessary aggression for infractions that make no sense considering no rules have even been explained!

Now I know keeping all those three things in your brain at the same time must be a strain on your cricket-addled minds, but try. Then, try and make a connection between these three things and see if you can't figure out whats going on. But you won't of course. As a final recourse, send me a PM because I'm not going to let your lack of coherent thought drag this thread further down than this. We're already at the ground floor, and the basement is off limit.

Otherwise you did surprisingly well for a spaz. You got the rules figured out so far. We'll be seeing some new rules in the unlikely event that this ever moves forward, and then I'll explain those to the few here who might be able to grasp them.

EDIT for those of you with a slower learning curve than Rider. So Eth has posted his suggestion on what to do next. We're still standing in the room, having checked our pockets and found that we don't have any.  Maybe you agree with the old man and want to look for medicine. Maybe you want to just search the room. Maybe you want to go out the door or stand on your hands, I don't know. but none of that is going to happen unti lI see two more votes in that thread, because we've currently just got one. Seriously, you can get away with a minimum of effort by quoting Eth and saying "I agree". Is that really too much effort for you slovenly creaturers? Are you really that weak and pahtetic. Looks like that 50€ is mine.

[Rider]

What angry face?

Moderators Edit:

Well this is interesting. Let's play nice with each other in the future eh? You leave my posts alone and I'll leave your posts alone.
Luki

[Lukipela]

EDIT: This post has become obsolete. I'm leaving it for posterity, but the real meat is now at the bottom of the post.

What angry face?

That was stupid. Don't do it again. If you attempt to repsond by citing the subforum rules for a place where you haven't done any moderation in the last 3 years or so I'm going to laugh my ass off and then move this thread somewhere else. If this was a vibrant community full of energetic threads I'd obey rules that used to be semi-relevant back in the day. As it isn't, I won't and you should keep your grubby little fingers out of my posting.

ALSO SOME NEW RULES GUYS!

Relax, you're all doing surprisingly well for now. I'm pleasantly surprised, and thus slightly more mellow than this thread really ought to allow me to be. We've checked up on the things you've wanted to check, and the only thing that's been ignored was someones suggestion that we crawl. Partly because that's an action and needs three votes, and partly because I've no idea where you want to crawl. So now we're ready to hopefully be mopre proactive, but there's something you should know first.

As you may have noticed, we don't even know our gender! Terrifying to think that we might not be a dangler, I know. This is pretty easily checked, so it's not too much trouble. However, the result of that check will be the outcome of a vote. So in your next post, be sure to include what gender you want us to be! I'd berate Cedric for not doing this, but the forum posted for me and then kicked me out before I cculd edit my post. Very SCDB of it. This brings me to a few more rules that you might want to think about for the future.

ITS ALRIGHT TO EDIT YOUR POSTS! If someone comes up with an idea you think is superior, you can go back and edit your post and fix stuff. No use hanging onto a worthelss idea, unless you're a stubbborn bastard who is stubborn for the sake of stubborness.

ITS ALRIGHT TO DISCUSS WHAT TO DO NEXT IN THE ADVENTURE THREAD! You're all filthy small voices inside our heros head. When we get to some more open ended stuff rtaher than this "There's one door and you're in an empty room guyz what do you want to do wink wink" shit, then you're all going to be wondering what to do and why. These other voices may help you out, and you can discuss things with each other if you feel you need to. Of course, being obstinate SCDBers I am confident that you'll just ignore each other completely and pretend your the only present voice.

EDIT: It would seem that Scott has made me a moderator for soem unknown reason. So I guess I'm going to have to change the tone of this thread a bit. For those of you who didn't get it, this was a gimmick OOC. I was being wilfully abusive and counting on you to bring me back down with equally hilarious and overbearing posts. That didn't happen though, either because I didn't do it very well or because you didn't understand it.

However, since I don't want people to be afraid of sassing a moderator (as if you were going to be anyway), I'm changing this thread into a completely normal OOC thread. Any questions related to the game and its mechanics can go here. I don't foresee this thread having a lot of posts, since the rules are fairly simple. I'll mostly use it when something new comes along to make sure you understand what's going on. The two new rules presneted above still hold, edit your posts and discuss your next move freely in the other thread.

Go forth and post wildly.

[Rider]

Ah good! We can talk like people again, that's a lot better

[Alana]

Aww, drat. I enjoyed reading the abusiveness. You've always had... what's the quote? "A happy talent for composition and a remarkable felicity of expression," Luki. Especially for snarky insults that're hard to take personally. <3

Anyway! Pre-op MtF makes me smile. <3 *likes that this was even suggested* Why'd you go for that, Eth? :3