Page 2 of 2

Re: Groombridge Log part II finished

Posted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 9:06 am
by Zeracles
I just read through chapters 6 and 7, enjoyed them. A few things I've noticed so far:

Chapter 6:
Ur-Quan Dreadnought, which had the fastest known hyperdrive in the Great War.
Based on movements from the War (and without knowledge of QuasiSpace), the humans probably thought the Arilou were the fastest, as implied by Hayes in-game: `they possess some technique for moving REALLY fast through HyperSpace. They never let us know what it was, but it sure beats the pants off our fastest ships.'

Chapter 7:
Orbiting the red planet was a smaller grey planet
This is a little jarring to read because a planet by definition orbits a star, not another planet. Perhaps ``world" could be substituted for planet in this line?

At the memorial service for the departed crew it's mentioned that Fwiffo doesn't attend, but it's not clear (unless I missed it) whether the crowd knew the role he played. The reader is sure to wonder about this, and either way Gruber would be expected to think about it.

I like the probe hostility / security arc.

Looking forward to reading the rest when I have more time!

Re: Groombridge Log part II finished

Posted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 7:21 am
by Tiberian
Fine observations, Zeracles. I'll make a fix to those in the final version.

Re: Groombridge Log part II finished

Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2013 8:19 am
by Zeracles
Reading (and enjoying) on,

page 58:
an unknown race could always be a black horse.
Most native English speakers will know what you mean anyway, but the English expression is ``dark horse".

I raised an eyebrow at the Melnorme claiming to have all module designs the Precursors ever used (not canonical as far as I know), but it's possible.