A Timewarp Hierarchy

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Dabir
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Re: A Timewarp Hierarchy

Post by Dabir »

spathilowcouncil wrote:Wow, long time no post eh?
In retrospect, I shouldn't have let myself get used to it.
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spathilowcouncil
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Re: A Timewarp Hierarchy

Post by spathilowcouncil »

-NEO--LOG-01-

Neo flee! Neo hide, Neo go to the source. Neo get eradicated!
Neo Fore-Vian! Neo Zek-fahan!
Neo Alch-Ero! Neo Hari-ka

-END OF NEO--LOG-01-

-MYCON--LOG-01-

We were attacked by Non, They stop Juffo-wup.
They are eradicated, for Juffo-wup. We warn our partner in Juffo-wup, the Chorali saying that they are in danger if they encounter the Non.

-END OF MYCON--LOG-01-

-KZER-ZA--LOG-03-

We have sent out a few exploration fleets to explore this quadrant, and enslave faster.

-END OF KZER-ZA--LOG-03-
chenjesuwizard
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Re: A Timewarp Hierarchy

Post by chenjesuwizard »

Was wondering, could we have a little synopsis of what's going on and such? 'cause, let me be honest, I have no fucking idea what's going on.
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spathilowcouncil
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Re: A Timewarp Hierarchy

Post by spathilowcouncil »

Was wondering, could we have a little synopsis of what's going on and such? 'cause, let me be honest, I have no fucking idea what's going on.
Sure ;)-smf

The Daktaklakpak are going north-west for no apparent reason, maybe "bit decay".
The Kzer-za are sending small fleets to explore more the quadrant.
The Radean have learned very vaguely about IDF and a race called The Arilou.
The Sclore and Ploxis are fighting for the Vulpeculae system.
The Androsynth accidentally attacked a Nechanzi fleet.
The Mycon are being attacked by the Daktaklakpak
The Neo, Alchero and Harika are attacked being by the Forevian-Zekfahan
chenjesuwizard
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Re: A Timewarp Hierarchy

Post by chenjesuwizard »

spathilowcouncil wrote:
Was wondering, could we have a little synopsis of what's going on and such? 'cause, let me be honest, I have no fucking idea what's going on.
Sure ;)-smf

The Daktaklakpak are going north-west for no apparent reason, maybe "bit decay".
The Kzer-za are sending small fleets to explore more the quadrant.
The Radean have learned very vaguely about IDF and a race called The Arilou.
The Sclore and Ploxis are fighting for the Vulpeculae system.
The Androsynth accidentally attacked a Nechanzi fleet.
The Mycon are being attacked by the Daktaklakpak
The Neo, Alchero and Harika are attacked being by the Forevian-Zekfahan
Okay, wait. If the daks are going north east, how are they attacking the Mycon, who are in the south west? and how do you accidentally attack someone?
Secondly, maybe try focusing on just one plot line at a time. If you just follow one through, develop it, add description, then maybe we'll be able to understand it all.

You could say focus on the Sclore and Ploxis war? You could tell it all from the account of a Ploxis crew member who is stranded on a moon in one of the Vulpeculae systems. Then look at him? What's his character? Where was he born? How was he raised? etc.
Then look at what might happen to him? Is he captured by a Sclore? Does he die alone on the moon? How do all these events relate to the war in itself?
I'm not saying use that example, just something like it. That way, you are putting forward your ideas about the world you've created in the narrative of one person. Through that one character we get both the information and a character to empathize with a root for. It makes for a much more interesting story line.

At the moment it's just a bunch of random commands with no context and no-one we can identify with. It's just an information dump of stuff which is impossible to follow.

I mean, you've got some quite good ideas, just try and make them more cohesive.

:)
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spathilowcouncil
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Re: A Timewarp Hierarchy

Post by spathilowcouncil »

I've got a new idea, this is an overall (more rubbish) version of the story and there is an index to different wars/things going on!
and about the from one person thing...its a secret until the end. hehehehehe

But this does mean this will be less updated than usual
The Daktaklakpak are going North-*West for no apparent reason, maybe "bit decay".
Fix!
And I am the Karl Pilkington of this Discussion Board.
Last edited by spathilowcouncil on Wed May 01, 2013 9:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Dabir
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Re: A Timewarp Hierarchy

Post by Dabir »

spathilowcouncil wrote:(more rubbish)
I think I found your problem.
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spathilowcouncil
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Re: A Timewarp Hierarchy

Post by spathilowcouncil »

you know what...im going to cut it short because this was a large tick on a collection of ticks.

-PLOXIS--LOG-02-

Alzright if ze Sclore vant ze Vulpeculae zystem ZEY VILL 'AVE EET
Ve vill just go to the next qua-------------------------------

Melnorme: Well captain, those were different times, and a different universe. With several what you humans would call...Cliché's.
These are old though captain, we cannot find great copies, still though.
Research is being done on them.
Until we meet again.
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spathilowcouncil
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Re: A Timewarp Hierarchy

Post by spathilowcouncil »

well, bump.
I hate to do this, this thread is like something embarrassing you did on a drunk party,
except that in those drunk months you were actually completely sober and you could remember everything.
So I'll just stop doing threads (not completely) and just posts, might work out in the long run.
And if you liked this, which in this small community is impossible, bugger off will you?
I had bad grammar then and I probably still have bad grammar now.
At least better grammar than last time.
However if you like the idea of this, you can make a better one and hopefully never spread yourself too thin,
I found that out with alot of jam and bread.
But all in experimentation eh?
But in all honesty this was a complete flop and I just wanted to try something out in my brain.
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spathilowcouncil
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Re: A Timewarp Hierarchy

Post by spathilowcouncil »

you know what, DELETE THIS THREAD!
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